I knew that I had to look at the problems at hand, and concentrate on Wayne. He would be released from the hospital soon and I wondered if I could handle his care myself. I fought the idea of a nursing home with all my heart. I was disillusioned with nursing homes after dealing with them with his father and then his mother. I never dreamed that we would be in the same boat so soon. You never think that a crisis will happen to you...at least you pray for deliverance. But problems arise, so you have to face them and get on with your life, however it has changed. The real test of your endurance is to find a balance between what has to be done and what you can handle yourself.
In my case, I read all the information I could get my hands on about my husband’s condition. I asked questions of the nurses. Why was his procedure being done? Why were these medications being given, and what were the side effects of each drug? I bought a book on medications so that I could understand their benefits and side effects. Sometimes this works, but other times it can confuse you completely. It is still better to discuss any questions with your doctor when you can corner him long enough. When Wayne’s doctor tried to leave the room, I would ask them to sit down and discuss my husband’s situation and give me a tentative prognosis. I say tentative, because most doctors ten to give you the worst case scenario and I believe in thinking positively. I knew that I was facing a bad situation, but I refused to give up just a doctor believed a condition would not get any better. I believe in the power of positive thinking and I work with it all the time. I believe that if you continually think and work toward the positive end, it will help. I’m afraid that I am know as an eternal optimist. But, I must say, in my defense, that things go my way more often than not. I have always been a very lucky person. My advice is to look for something good to happen it most likely will. If you look on the dark side, that instead is what you will probably find.
So, thinking positively, I worked out a plan for caring for my husband, with a long-range plan for his recovery that would take him back home and out on the golf course. I worked with him in his physical therapy sessions and at home, make sure that he had the best care I could give, and encouraged him to exercise his mind.
It is hard to see the person you love unable to walk or remember an incident or a conversation. I believe the worst pain in when they don’t even know who you are. They look at you with empty eyes, sometimes frightened because they don’t know what is happening.. That empty look is the first hurdle you have to overcome---at least it was for me.