Tuesday, December 13, 2011


     The time has come to shop for that perfect Christmas tree.  Some families take a weekend and go to the mountains to find their special tree, others go to a tree farm to cut one, but most people simply buy a tree in town.  Whether you buy it or cut it yourself the crop of trees this year is great.  I’ve spied pines and nobles that would take your breath away, expensive but great.
     Now, me, I opted for an artificial tree again this year.  I have used the same tree for about fifteen years now and I love it.  It’s always perfect and looks lovely with the flocking on all the branches.  However, this year I don’t have room for a tree as wide as the old one, so off I went to buy a new tree, a pre-lit tree this time.  All I should have to do is the fun part, decorating.  I do love to decorate.
     Well, I brought home a 6 1/2 foot tree, pre-lit of course, and started to put it together.
  Now, you would think that a moderately intelligent woman, such as myself, could assemble a tree with no problem, right?  It only had four parts, the stand, the bottom section, middle, and the top.  Okay that’s easy!
     I read the instructions twice, (I’m pretty dense,) and laid out the parts of the tree as they suggested.  The instruction sheet said to remove the extension cord strapped to the bottom section of the tree, which I did.  And then, I was to put the bottom portion in the stand and tighten it, which I also did..nice and tight.
     This is where I ran into trouble.  They must have attached the extension cord to the wrong section of the tree, because when I tried to add the next section I found it was bigger...Oh! Oh!  I put the wrong section in the stand.  Well, no problem, I thought I’d just remove it and place the bottom piece in the stand and start over.  That’s easy enough.  Wrong!
     I rectified my mistake, however, now the middle piece wouldn’t fit.  I figured the pipe must be out of round from putting it in the stand, (I didn’t realize I caused dimples in the metal when I forced it into the stand,)  so I took the hammer and tried to tap it down into the pipe.  It wouldn’t go, now what?  I was compounding the problem, for now the top of the pipe was bent over from hitting it with the hammer.  Smart, really smart!
     There I was sitting in the middle of the floor with pieces of my Christmas tree laying around me, laughing at my own stupidity.  How could I mess up such a simple job?
I thought to myself, “Well I can always buy another tree.”
     Now, my daughter bails me out of these little predicaments I get myself into, so I called Casey and through my laughter I said, “Casey, I broke my new Christmas tree.”
     Casey started laughing and promised to come over the next morning and look at it.
     “How did you manage this mother?” she laughingly asked.
     I said, “Believe me darling, it wasn’t easy.”
     We cut off the dimpled and bent parts of the pipe and finally got the tree together.  Although it was slightly shorter, I still enjoyed it.
     It’s funny how a simple job, like putting up a Christmas tree, could cause so much trouble.
     I still contend the instructions were flawed.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

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